Pamela Philp - The World Race 2008

After 17 Hours on a Plane...

Tue, 8 Dec 2009 00:00:00 GMT

First, I want to apologize for my lack of posting lately - my blog and Swaziland internet did not agree for a few weeks.

Secondly, I am officially back in the States. I am not home in California yet, but am spending 3 days in Georgia for a leader debrief and then will fly home on Friday. I cannot believe how fast these three months have gone. It has been an incredible journey and I absolutely loved it. Being back in Swaziland was a huge gift from God and I feel so blessed that I was able to spend so much time there. I loved coleading our team of 15 girls and am going to miss all of them so much.

This is just a quick update to let all of you know I am home; but I will be posting more blogs soon about my last few weeks in Swazi and the people that touched my life. Thank you so much for all of your support through your prayers and reading my blogs. It means so much to me.

Here are a few prayer requests for this week:

1. For my health - I seem to have caught something these last few weeks in Swazi and am on some good antibiotics, but would love to feel back to full health soon.

2. For my team as they all re-enter home and life in the States. It is going to be a challenging road to bring everything we experienced and learned these 3 months back into our 'normal' lives and I know we will all need a lot of prayer during the first few weeks.

3. For these three days in Georgia for leader debrief. We are staying at a house with the leaders of all the Real Life teams (India, Kenya, Nicaragua, and Swazi) and would love prayer over this time - that it would be a chance for us to love one another and encourage each other as we are coming out of our leadership roles.

Thank you all again for your prayers!!

Loving Swaziland

Tue, 8 Dec 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Three months in Swaziland was a dream come true; it was a gift from God. After spending a brief two weeks there in January I knew God would bring me back, but I had no idea it would happen so fast. As most of you know, I spent the last 3 months of my life co-leading a 'Real Life' trip of 15 college age girls to Swaziland. We worked in a few different communities and in a variety of ministries. Here is a glimpse of some of the people who have been the focus of my heart:

'The Boys'.

About halfway through our time in Nsoko we were hit by the reality of how hard it is to provide for your children in a land full of poverty and death. A woman named Busisiwe came to see Pastor Gift to ask him to take care of her 3 young boys. Busisiwe had developed tumors on her neck and was given a diagnosis that didnt give her much of a chance, even with surgery. In her desperation of trying to provide for her sons, she brought them to Pastor Gift. These three young boys become the 'trial-run' of a potential foster care system in Nsoko. One of the local Gogo's (grandmothers) was already taking care of a young boy who had lost his parents and had no place to go, and she willingly and lovingly opened her home up to these three boys as well. Over our remaining time in Nsoko, all four of the boys became our family. They were at our house all the time, playing games, putting together puzzles, eating meals, and learning how to roast marshmellows over a candle. Sabelo, Manthla, Sibusiso, and Musa are the most polite, sweetest young boys you could ever meet. We fell in love instantly and poured out as much of ourselves as we could to them. It was extremely difficult to leave but I rejoice in knowing that they are being taken care of by an extremely loving and selfless woman who is loving them like her own.

'Abigail'.

We met Abigail at one of our carepoints. She is 15 years old and was living with her father who was constantly in and out of the hospital and her stepmother who didn't treat her very well. One of our girls, Bailey, reached out to her one day while we were doing a lesson for the younger kids and they formed an instant bond. Abigail even showed up to our teenage girls Bible study the next day. But, the following night was when the reality hit. She showed up at our house by poking her head into our kitchen window around 11pm. I will never forget the image of her standing with her face in the botton window pane looking so small, so scared. She had run away from home, trying to get away from her stepmother, and was 7 1/2 months pregnant after being raped by her uncle. She came to us scared, lonely, and without hope. During the 8 weeks we had with her, Bailey gave her entire self to loving this young girl. She spoke so much truth and love into Abigail that when her baby arrived the week before we left, it was a day of love and joy and celebration, instead of a day of sadness and shame. Hope was brought into her life and she knows she is not alone. Abigail is also staying with the boys at the Gogo's house and is so excited to love her baby well and to learn how to be a good mother.

'My Kids'.

Bongiwe was my girl I met back in January and found again when I returned. She is beautiful and so full of life and I LOVE spending time with her. She is kind and caring and always looking to the needs of others.

Spunkose ('yellow jacket') and Zackele. These brothers completely stole my heart. I met them at my friday carepoint. They were usually the dirtiest and smelliest kids there, but they were also wild and energetic and I loved holding them and running around with them. My favorite moments with them would be when our girls would be teaching a story in our tiny carepoint room and they would sit in my lap and be so comfortable. We just fit together.

Mcolane ('Deck Shoes'). We instantly connected because I loved his face and his shoes. I love making silly faces at kids and having them reciprocate. Mcolane was the best at it. His lips are huge and so his 'fish face' was probably the cutest thing I have ever seen. He would run around and be crazy, and then sit in my lap and color. I think my favorite moment was when church was finishing and I went to return him to his mom. He took a pair of glasses from one of our girls and put them on and started yelling for his mom to turn around and see him. He was so proud to show her his new look.

'Our Girls'.

Of all the ministries we had in Swazi, my first priority was loving the girls I was coleading. They are all amazing and beautiful and the Lord did such a work in their lives. It was one of the most intense, overwhelming, and wonderful experiences of my life and I feel so blessed to have been in Swaziland with them. The Lord taught me so much through them. We all walked into this trip with such differences (life stages, pasts, expectations...) but in it all we learned how to be a community, be a family, and love each other. I think the 'growth' that I am most excited about in seeing in our team is how our girls have become equipped to call out the lies in their own lives and the lies in each other and replace them with the truth of Christ. They have grown so much in recognizing the chains of their pasts and have been able to finally walk out of the opened shackles. Freedom has started in them in Swaziland and I cant think of anything better to praise God for. I love my team so much and feel so humbled that I got to walk with them through this time in their lives.

It has been an amazing three months and I cant believe how fast it went. There is so much that has happened that I dont think I could put into words, but I hope this was a small glimpse into my life. I love everything about being in Swaziland and am so thankful for the work the Lord did in us and through us. Thank you again for your support and prayers!

Gogo Dancing

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT

One of the ongoing ministries AIM has here in Swaziland is called Timbali Crafts. It is a ministry with the "Gogo's" (grandmothers) making purses and table runners as a way to earn money for their families. Here is a little information found on their website (www.timablicrafts.org):

ABOUT TIMBALI CRAFTS

The women who create Timbali Crafts are all volunteer cooks at care points for orphans
and vulnerable children in the rural Swaziland communities of Engculwini and Nsoko. The
90 women of Timbali Crafts help feed more than 2600 children each day at 14 different
care points.

The women themselves face many hardships: most are either widowed or abandoned, many are single mothers, or grandmothers raising their orphaned grandchildren. Timbali Crafts was started in 2006 to help reach out to the physical and spiritual needs of these hard-working women and their families who would otherwise have little or none.

REACHING OUT TO PHYSICAL NEEDS

In a country where 2/3 of the population lives on less an a dollar a day, many of the Timbali women earn between $70 and $100 a month. Money earned by the Timbali
women goes to help with the basic needs of their families such as school fees, medical care, food, and housing. The women are also assisted in saving throughout the year, in preparation for school fees due each January.

Timbali reaches out in emergency situations with food baskets for families who have lost a loved one, or have a special need, and also medical care when needed

REACHING OUT TO SPIRITUAL NEEDS

Timbali Crafts was started out of a weekly Bible study with some of the women, and
pointing them to Jesus continues to be the central goal. The Timbali women take part in
regular Bible studies and also attend a yearly camp, where they can rest, laugh, be
encouraged, and poured into.

WHAT DOES "TIMBALI" MEAN?

Timbali means "flowers" in the local language, Siswatti. It is also the word used to
translate "lillies" in Matthew 6, when Jesus talked about his loving care and provision for
His children. Our hope is that God will use Timbali Crafts to help meet the needs of these
hardworking women.

This is an amazing ministry that we have been

blessed enough to get a glimpse of during our

time in Swaziland. Last weekend we were

able to help out with a Christmas party for the

Gogo's of Timbali. We assembled gift bags in

the office and made sugar cookies for them to

decorate. The party was full of dancing and

food and celebrating the 80th birthday for

Gogo Ruby. It was beautiful seeing all these

women come together and celebrate.

Next week we are helping out at another Gogo Christmas Party for the Gogo's in Nsoko and instead of presents I think we are going to kill a cow...should be interesting!

If you would like to support Timbali Crafts you can visit their website at www.Timbalicrafts.org

Hee-Haw

Mon, 9 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Saturday was an insane but amazing day. All last week we joined alongside the AIM staff in Manzini preparing for a massive Christmas party at one of the ministry Care Points. We spent the whole week sorting through donations, putting together presents, shopping for food, and decorating cakes. After all that preparation, we survived an incredible day with over 600 kids. I think this story is best told in pictures.

We started out the morning by having to pick up a group of kids from one of the care points. 30 kids in one Combi (bus). It was amazing. The moment we started driving the kids started singing "Jesus Loves the Little Children"; it was so beautiful and set the tone for the whole day.

When the kids arrived they

enjoyed playing on an amazing

playground as well as this

awesome bouncy castle.

Then all the kids came

inside to sing songs, play

silly games, and here the

story of Jesus.

Then they got to have this incredible feast of mashed potatoes, beef, chicken, coleslaw, beets, pop (cornmeal), and so much more. It was an intense amount of food(and all of it made from scratch).

While the kids were eating,

our team organized and

alphabetized all of the

presents. It got a

little difficult when over half

the kids had the same last

name, but we figured it out.

Once lunch was

finished, all the kids

crowded outside,

waiting to receive their

presents. They were

getting very excited.

We also had decorated

23 cakes to cut and

pass out to the kids

after receiving their

presents.

This amazing day ended
with every kid walking

through the main

building receiving a bag

of presents and candy

and a handful of cake.

Transition and Christmas

Fri, 6 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT

This past week has been a week of transition. On Saturday, our team packed up and left our home in Nsoko to move about an hour away to Timbutini. It was hard to say goodbye to the place we came to love so much. There were many prayers and letters and pictures exchanged with all of our new friends; and we're still receiving phone calls every few days from our ministry partners who are missing us. Nsoko has meant so much to our team; and I know it is going to always hold a special place in our hearts.

The purpose of our transition is to get another glimpse of life and ministry in Swaziland, as well as be as useful as possible to the full-time AIM staff. We are living on a homestead in Timbutini belonging to the family of one of the local AIM staff members, Lelo. It is a little different from Nsoko, but we love it. The girls all live in one round concrete hut with a grass roof, and the leaders actually have a room to ourself (!). We have a kitchen, but no running water in the house; so brushing my teeth outside while being surrounded by cows has already been an adventure. We are entertained by the goats coming home at night, and in the midst of our crazy animal house, it is amazing to see the beauty God has created out here. Every night we are blessed with a beautiful sunset and a cool breeze that draws us to spend our evenings outside. I am excited to get to know our new area better and to continue enjoying all God has provided.

As for ministry, that has been a transition as well. This week has been a huge shift from our "norm". Instead of constant kids, this week has been a week of preparation. We have gone into the AIM office for most of the week to help sort, organize, and arrange bags of candy and presents for an intense Christmas party coming up on Saturday. This is the start of two months of weekend Christmas parties for all the kids at the carepoints. I cant even imagine what is to come this weekend, but I am excited. There is going to be presents, and food, and a time of sharing, and (rumor has it) even a bouncy castle! It sounds like it is going to be an amazing time of loving on these kids and I feel so blessed that we get to be a part of it.

It seems like our time in Timbutini is going to be a constant transition. Every week will vary in our ministry and there will be more variety of how we can be used. I am excited for this chance to be apart of another aspect of ministry in Swazi and another chance to learn more about the work being done here. I know it is only going to grow my love for this country. (And dont worry, the Christmas party on Saturday is going to be well documented by photos).

Saying the Final Goodbye

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT

When my World Race squad was in Swaziland back in January, a few of my teammates had the opportunity to minister to a woman named Dudu. Dudu is 27 years old and has been living with AIDS and TB. Back in January her situation seemed hopeless and the hearts of my teammates broke over this woman's condition. The loved her and cared for her, and even spent time with her in the hospital. I never met her back then, but heard story upon story about her. Their time spent with her was also a process of "learning to die" with her, and understanding what it means to minister to someone who is past medical help. They left Swazi thinking that she would pass away very soon.

Since returning to Swazi, I was completely surprised to learn during our first week that Dudu was still alive, living across the street with her mother, father, sisters, and her son. When I found out, I was completely overjoyed. I couldn't believe that this woman who I heard so much about in January as being on her deathbed was still here. Her situation was still heartbreaking, spending most of her days lying on the bed and struggling to speak, but she was still here. Our girls struggled a little in the beginning with how to minister to someone in her condition, but as the weeks went by they grew in their ability to love her and care for her in beautiful ways. I saw the Lord sustaining her and saw it as a gift that we got to love her. Even last week, her son turned one year old and we were able to throw him a birthday party. That was the only time I was able to go to her house and I got to sit with Dudu, feed her birthday cake, and hold her hand. She is so incredibly beautiful.

Every day that the girls go to Dudu's, they never know what to expect. On the good' days, her family sits her on the porch and she is able to speak a little; and on the bad' days, she is confined to her bed and it takes every ounce of energy to eke out the smallest of sounds. This past Wednesday, our girls went over to her house for a visit. Dudu was lying in her bed looking so small and weak. Even though her condition looked bad, it is usually the most common. They sat with her, prayed with her, and read her letters they had written for her. Though those days are hard, it is beautiful to be able to sit with someone in their pain and let them know how much God loves them, that they are not forgotten.

A few hours after the girls had gone to see her, one of our translators came to our house to tell us that Dudu had passed away. Our girls just broke. Though this news wasn't necessarily unexpected, we really didn't think it would happen. There was sadness and anger and helplessness. Having to face the reality of death in this place is almost unbearable. To see this beautiful, 27 year old woman with a one year old child be taken away from this world in such a painful way is heartbreaking. Everything about it shows the injustice and sin of this world, and being faced with it in such a real way can be incredibly overwhelming.

In the midst of all this sadness, our role in her life was not finished. Erica and I drove Dudu's family, along with Dudu's lifeless body to the funeral home and helped her mother and sister pick out a coffin. I don't think the gravity of all of that has settled in yet, but I can truly say I felt so honored to be able to do this for Dudu. I know her life has touched so many people. Countless teams have come through this place with the intent of ministering to her, but I feel like she has been able to minister to them as well. She taught them how to love and serve and understand not only the reality of death but the beauty of praising God in the midst of it. She taught them how to sit with her in her suffering, and love her when there was nothing else to do. Every team left this place saying goodbye to Dudu and didn't know how long she had; but we were here to say the final goodbye, knowing that the next time we meet we will never have to say it again. And even though it is hard to be here right now going through this loss, I rejoice in knowing that she is in Heaven, standing before her Father, praising His name and no longer living under earthly pain. Her body has been restored and it is beautiful.

Choosing to Not Cross the Street

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT

This past week I have been reflecting a lot on the parable of the Good Samaritan. As most of us can recall, it is about a man who was robbed, beat up on the side of the road, and left for dead. Three men come along this road and the first two, a Priest and a Levite (both religious figures), decide to cross the street and ignore the man while the third, a Samaritan (a cultural outcast), decides not only to check on the man and bandage him up, but pays for the man to receive further care. We can all walk away from this story in Sunday School with the good moral lesson of helping ones neighbor; but how often do we put this into action? And are we just like the religious scholar who spent some much time questioning Jesus on who is our neighbor' instead of actually doing it?

In the parable, the Priest and the Levite were both characters who one would assume would have helped the man on the side of the road; but they both crossed the street trying to avoid him. I think I have always thought of them of just not having the heart to help. But, if that were the case, why did they cross the street? If they had no feelings toward this man, they would have no problem walking right past him without even noticing him; but they did notice him. "Maybe they were late for meetings; maybe they thought someone else would be a better source of help. But surely they at least felt sorry for the man, right?' Perhaps. But it was only the Samaritan whose heart went out to the man and who took action on that heart tug. Because of the Samaritan's hands-dirty work, the man by the side of the road received medical help and was cared for in ways he could not have accomplished on his own. He was given hope. This isn't just a story about being nice to your neighbor or even merely a story about determining who is your neighbor. It's a story about doing the work of God's kingdom - the work that leads to hope. The work that leads to life (Davis, 91)."

Being here in Swazi I find myself constantly surrounded by need, and not the "I need a new ipod because mine is out of space" need. What I'm seeing are basic human needs that I was taught everyone should have: "I need food. I need clothes. I need a place to sleep." Trying to obey this parable in a land of obvious need is so overwhelming it can become almost paralyzing. I look at every "neighbor" I come in contact with and want to help. But, over the last few years I've come to learn my role in these situations and how I can help by bringing them to the ministries in the community that are here for the long haul. It is definitely hard at times, and a lot of times heartbreaking, but I know that the work we do here is pleasing to the Lord. But there is still that part of me which struggles with wanting to jump in to every situation and meet every need.

As you all know, my team is only here for three months, and we are on a tight budget. Being able to meet financial needs in the community is not why we are here. But the other night God gave Erica, Sydney, and I a "Good Samaritan" moment. It was Wednesday night and Erica and Sydney were down at Pastor Gift's house with a group of the girls for a night of fellowship. One of our translators came to the house and told me Pastor Gift needed to see me. When I got to the house he pulled me outside with one of the GoGo's (grandmothers) from one of our weekly care-points. He was explaining to me that there was a woman at her house with AIDS and cervical cancer. Her family had been saving up money to send her to a hospital in South Africa, but the pain was getting so bad that they had an immediate need to get her to a closer clinic. This Gogo was asking me to drive this woman to a clinic about an hour away. I found myself in a hard place, and immediately pulled Erica and Sydney outside. Everything inside of me wanted to take this woman to the clinic, but what about all the other people we've turned away with very similar requests? And are we being wise with spending gas money and have two of us leave the team for the day to drive this woman? In the midst of all these questions in my head I continued to hear God over and over again saying "she is your neighbor". The three of us leaders quickly and unanimously agreed we had the means to be able to do this.

In the morning Erica and I went and picked up this woman, Angeline, from her homestead around 6:30am. When we arrived at the house it was like any other house we had been to - kids playing in the front, 3-4 houses next to each other, and cows and guinea fowl walking around. We pulled the car up an unlevel path to the farthest house, to pick up Angeline. Within seconds, three Gogos were in the car making a "bed" in the middle of the van. There was a foam mattress and blankets with a pillow. Then they re-entered the house and came back out carrying Angeline to the car. She was too sick to walk, even to lift her head, and looked like she was in constant pain with her eyes fighting back tears. The Gogos loaded her into the car and then followed her into the back seat. Once everyone was in I had to slowly navigate myself down the uneven road to make sure it wasn't too bumpy for her in the back.

The drive to the clinic was pretty smooth and we made it in about an hour. We parked in front of the entrance and pulled a gurney around to load her onto. Once Angeline was out of the car, the Gogo's wheeled her to the large crowd of people lining up all the way outside to receive medical care. The clinic staff wouldn't let Erica and I wait with them so we parked the car outside and waited. For the next 4 hours we found mini-adventures to occupy our time, but my midday we were called back to the clinic for pick-up. Luckily Angeline was able to stay at the clinic, and after unloading the car of blankets and a little food to keep with her, we drove the Gogo's back home.

It was when we dropped them off that I truly started to feel the weight of what we just did. Angeline's father came out to our car and thanked us over and over for what we did. The look of gratitude in his eyes was so pure and genuine. In that moment I felt the emotions of the day. What felt like another day for us was in reality a life changing day for Angeline. That morning, at 7am, we were her ambulance. We were able to take this woman who was suffering to people who could relieve the pain (even if only for a little while).

The woman "by the side of the road" received medical help and was cared for in ways we could not have accomplished on our own. She was given hope.

My prayer for myself and for really anyone who calls themselves a Christian is that we open our eyes, see the people who God has put on the road before us, and choose to not cross the street. I pray we would be aware of immediate needs in front of us and listen to the leading of the Holy Spirit in how we should respond and share the hope that is the Kingdom of God.

*Davis, Tom. Red Letters.

An Excuse to Show Pictures of My Cute Kids

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT

One of my favorite things about being back in Swazi is seeing some of my kids from when I was here in January. I was only here for less than 2 weeks, but these kids touched my heart so much. The moment I returned I was on the lookout for a few specific ones (but let's face it, I love them all); and within the first few days I found them.

The first boy I was looking for was a little boy named "Dadada" (or I like to just call him trouble). Back in January I spent a lot of my time chasing him around the care point and throwing him in the air. He was incredibly sweet and had the cutest smile that kept you from ever getting mad at him. I ended up finding him instantly our first day here and we quickly resumed our relationship of me chasing him around the house and throwing him upside-down and tickling him. I usually get to see him every day and I love the special connection I feel when he looks up and we make eye contact and this huge grin comes across his face.

My My second child I was on the lookout for was a girl named Bongewe. She is absolutely beautiful with the most gorgeous eyes. Back in January she spent a lot of times in my arms and we would walk around singing "I said a boom-chica-boom". Her little voice would echo mine and we would laugh and play for hours. It took me a few days to find her though, but I was so excited when I did. She usually only comes on Sunday's for church, but I get so excited for those moments. She is definitely an arm-hopper, wanting everyone to hold her and love her; but I know she will always return to my lap. We continue to sing "boom-chica-boom", and I look forward to every Sunday knowing I will get to spend time with her.

I've mentioned in previous blogs how my primary ministry in Swazi is my team. Co-leading 15 girls can definitely be time consuming, but I feel so blessed that God continues to provide opportunities for me to love the children who have captured my heart so many months ago, as well as be with new kids at care points who are taking more and more of my heart. These children and beautiful and I love that the Lord has allowed me to be here is share His love with them for these 3 months.

Bribing the PoPo

Mon, 5 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT

This past weekend we drove our team into Manzini for a "communication day" so they could use the internet. It is about an hour and a half drive down just one main road. On the way back to Nsoko I was driving a van with around 8 of our girls. We were only about 20 minutes from home when we drove past a police checkpoint. An officer had waved for me to stop to the side and I assumed he was just going to ask where we were going or whatever and send us on our way. It didn't seem odd to me that he made us stop and I had no idea anything would have been wrong.

The police officer came over to my window and asked to see my driver's license. At that point I knew I must have done something wrong and automatically assumed I was speeding (which I usually never do...). Luckily I had my license on me and grabbed it from my bag and walked it over to him on the other side of the road. Anyways, he soon informed me that I was "overtaking on a solid line", aka I had illegally passed a slower car. Now, I have been driving here for the past two weeks and had no idea they had laws about passing. Every car on the road seemed to pass whenever they felt like it and I decided to just follow that example. I tried extremely hard to play the ditzy card and explained that I had no idea that there was a law about passing and that I have only been driving in Swazi for a short time (and I might have even said that we don't have laws like that where I am from...woops). He was giving me no sympathy and was trying to tell me that illegally passing a car is a very big offense in Swazi, "a very big offense".

So here I am, on the side of the road in Swaziland, with a group of my girls across the street staring at me with a policeman. He wasn't offering much information so I asked him what the next step was. He then informed me that I would need to go to court. Court, seriously? I told him that there is no way I would be able to make it to court. He said I would need to go the next morning to a town that is about 45 minutes away from us. I asked him if there was another option because there is no way I could do that and he said that I could then just "fly away" (and he included hand motions of ascending into the sky). I could tell this conversation wasn't going anywhere helpful so I asked if there was a fine I could pay right then. He then involved the other officer who was on the opposite side of their car.

Now I found myself talking to a policewoman who was essentially giving me the information I already knew, that I would need to go to court. When I informed her that there was no way I was going to do that, she pulled out her Swazi traffic rules book to prove to me that what I had done was illegal. I had to explain to her that I in no way doubted that what I did was wrong, but that we would need to come up with another solution of how to take care of this (I had no idea trying to bribe Swazi police officers would be so hard). She then made a quick phone call and told me it would be a 60 rand fine (less than $10). Hello! That is much easier then court. So, I ran back across the street to the van and quickly got the money while she wrote out my ticket (which by the way she wrote my name down as Pamela Jean, my first and middle name, and in no way included my last name). I then handed her the money, took back my license, and got back on the road.

In the end it was totally not a big deal, especially with such a small fine. I just thought it was hilarious that I actually got pulled over. I have to say it was kind of a highlight in my day to receive a ticket in Swaziland. When I got home Sydney and I did a photo shoot with me and my ticket and I am definitely going to keep it, if not frame it when I get back to the States. I mean, how many people can say they've gotten a ticket in Swaziland before? Every day is definitely an adventure here.

(dont worry.... "motor vehicle diaries" is going to be an ongoing story. Here is a little heads up for my next car blog: today I had to pick up Erica and some girls on the side of the road because their engine blew a gasket. It was related to overheating, so we spent the rest of the morning watching one of our translators siphon out the water/coolant mixture with his mouth (dont worry, there is a video)...to be continued...)

Turning Left is the Easy Part

Sat, 3 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Part of our life here in Swazi is driving to and from "care points" and driving into town for errands. In my past experiences in Africa, I've walked, used public transport, or been driven by a contact; but now, Erica, Sydney, and I are the drivers. I absolutely love driving anyways, so it's been fun to have to drive on the left side of the road. We have a very old, but "faithful" van.

Every time we get into the van we have to flip the entire passenger seat and consul to get to the engine to check the water and oil. During our first experience with the car, it took an hour and a half to get it started due to a faulty battery. We had wonderful people around us running to and from a garage' getting new batteries and trying everything they could. The car worked, and I started my re-entry in understanding the phrase "T.I.A. (this is Africa)".

Our second venture with the van was when Sydney and I were going to drive a small group of our girls into town for a communication day while the rest of the team piled into another van we had rented. The rental van started with no problems and left to get the day started. We, on the other hand, ran into a longer ordeal. We checked the water and oil and attempted to start the car...nothing. We tried again, and again, and again. We had our amazing mechanic return and work his magic with the battery, and still nothing. I even went to a neighbor's house who gave it a try while I watched two guinea fowl chase and peck at a goat; and still nothing. First, we were told it was the battery, then the alternator, and finally the fuse. After almost 2 hours we got the van started and we're on our way to Manzini (about an hour drive), with the instructions to tell our contacts there about the battery, alternator, and fuse.

When I had finally made it onto the road, I noticed check engine light and all the ones surrounding it would randomly flicker on and off. I tried to ignore it, hoping it was nothing. Then, about 10 minutes into our drive, I felt the car jolt forward, followed by the speedometer plummeting to zero; but I didn't want to stop out of fear that it wouldn't start again. But then it started to slow down, and I told the people in the car we had to pull over. I pulled over to the side of the road and turned the car off. We called our contact, Pastor Gift, who started to give us instructions on how to fix it. Now Sydney and I both know close to nothing about cars, but we gave it a try. We flipped over one of the back seats to get to the battery. Gift talked us through finding the fuse and trying to connect these two metal pieces with another piece of metal. So, here we are, on the side of the road in Africa, with 5 of our girls, trying to "MacGyver" the vans fuse. It was definitely entertaining trying to find a small enough piece of metal to use. Sydney was incredible and worked so hard, but it was beyond repair. After 15 minutes of failed attempts, we had to call for another ride. Luckily, we weren't too far away from our home base, and Gift showed up with a neighbor. They switched batteries and Gift drove our van home while we piled into the neighbors covered bed truck. He drove us to a closer town where the girls could do some quick internet.

To get home, we had to use public transportation. Now, this was something I was used to, but it is always an experience. We found the correct 15 passenger van that was heading towards our home and jumped in. The problem was, we were the only ones in the van, and the vans don't leave until they are full (and by full, I mean at least 20 people). So, there we sat, in a hot sweaty van, for an entire hour, waiting for it to fill up. We were offered every type of fruit, snack chip, and bagged drink being sold in that parking lot by a wide range of people. We finally made it home after stopping only a few times with our driver's brilliant notion that there is always room for one more.

The day was an adventure (and actually, one I really enjoyed), and the girls with us were amazing. They were patient and understanding, and made it so much easier to have everything go wrong. Our van has made it back to us this week, hopefully in full repair, and we are excited to give it another try. T.I.A.

Prayers for Swazi

Sat, 3 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I first came to Swaziland in January while on the World Race. Out of all the places we went to on the Race, Swazi was probably the poorest place I saw. It seems like the poverty here is greater, hope is lost, and everywhere you turn you see a need. After having my heart broken for this place back in January, I was excited to return to help bring the hope of Jesus to this place. Being back here has been incredible. The Lord has showing me so much about His goodness and His grace, and I love the people in this community. As much as I love being here, my primary ministry is my girls I am co-leading. I am here to help them walk through all they are seeing and experiencing, but my heart still breaks for this country.

Here are a few ways you can be praying for Swazi:

Pray for Hope:

Hunger is everywhere. Most of the people in this community only receive one meal a day (sometimes not even that). The "care points" we have been working at are places where anyone can come and receive one meal every day usually consisting of rice; but for some people, it is too far to walk, or they are too sick to get themselves there. Most of the people in this community rely on the government to distribute food every few months, but a lot of the time the food comes late, if at all.

Work in Swazi is very hard to find. This past week we witnessed a protest in some sugarcane fields located right across the road from us. Men marched down the street into the fields and set them on fire. For most of the morning we could see a cloud of smoke and path of fire running through the fields. This protest was held because the land owners had purchased machines to replace the jobs of these men. Jobs are extremely limited here, and now people need to fight for the ones they once had.

Children need to be loved. A few nights ago we had a young girl, 14 years old, who showed up in our window. I recognized her from one of our care points that was almost two miles away. She had walked alone in the dark with no shoes on the dirt roads. Her father is in the hospital and his girlfriend had kicked this young girl out of the house with none of her things. Now she was at our house, with nothing, and over 7 months pregnant after getting raped by her uncle. She has been staying with Pastor Gift and we will hopefully be able to get her into some sort of halfway house where she can be taken care of and receive counseling. It is great that we have been able to help this girl, but sadly, this is a common story. There are a lot of children in this community in abusive homes, girls gettingpregnant extremely young (usually because of rape), and a huge lack of parents due to sickness related to HIV/AIDS.

There is so much need in this place and at times it can feel extremely overwhelming. I know I am only here for three short months, but I know that this is what the Lord has called me too, and I want to bring His hope. Please pray for the people of Swaziland and for our role in being here. Pray that we would bring the light of Christ into every place that we go, and that the people here would have hope in knowing that they have a Father in Heaven who loves them.

Romans 8: 38-39

" For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Learning to love Estrogen

Sat, 19 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Ten days of "training camp" in Georgia, 10 hours of waiting in the Atlanta airport, 18 hours on a direct flight to South Africa, one night in a guest house, 4 hours on a bus to Swaziland, one night in an AIM house, 1 hour on a bus to Nsoko, and we have finally made it! It has been a crazy and long couple of weeks and I don't even think I could begin to express all that the Lord has been doing.

I am co-leading (with two of the most amazing women, Erica and Sydney) a team of 15 crazy and incredible women ranging in ages 18-22. We had an intense time in Georgia, preparing ourselves emotionally and spiritually to begin this journey together. My prayer before the girls arrived was that the Lord would break my heart for these girls and allow me to feel their burdens. Well, let me tell you, be careful what you pray for. I have never in my life considered myself emotional, or an easy crier, but these girls have changed that. They are all incredibly beautiful and wonderful and have challenged me in so many ways. I have become heartbroken over things of their past, and amazed by the redeeming power of our Father. I know these next three months are going to be some of the most challenging months of my life. The Lord is calling me to go to those hard places with these girls, to pour out His grace upon them, and above all else, to LOVE them. We can believe so many lies about ourselves: that we're not good enough, that we have to reach some spiritual place to be considered "good", that things of our past are "too much" to bring to the Father. My heart for these women is that they know how much God not only loves them, but delights in them. There is nothing we can do ourselves, but it is by His grace that we have life.

On a more personal note, I am so incredibly excited to be back in Africa. This continent continues to grab my heart, and every time I return I feel more and more at home. I was in Swazi this past January for only a few short weeks, and was oddly at peace when the Lord cut that time short. It is such a blessing to look back and know that because I was obedient then, He has given me three whole months here. Since finishing the world race (www.theworldrace.org) only 3 short months ago, I have been struggling with processing everything that happened in those 11 months. But, I know that was God's plan. He gave me those 3 months to spend with my family and friends and reconnect in so many ways to prepare me to leave again. Being back in Swazi has been so refreshing. The Lord has been speaking to my heart in amazing ways, and I daily wake up praising Him for everything: "Father, thank you for the cool weather to help me sleep, thank you that the car started today, thank you for this community you have brought me back to". He has also brought kids back into my life who have given me so much joy. Seeing my little girl, Bongewe, chasing my little boy who I call "trouble", and talking with my older girls who I connected with last time by playing netball (a form of basketball) has been so encouraging. The people here are beautiful, the ministry brings glory and honor to God, and the kids just steal your heart instantly. The Lord has blessed me so much in allowing me to return and I cant believe how lucky I am to be doing this.

I know it is going to be an amazing three months full of beauty, joy, laughter, tears, and freedom. The Lord is going to challenge me in my relationships, and grow me in leadership. I am so thankful for my coleaders and the unity that has come between the three of us and know I could never do this without them.

Prayer Requests:

- -Continual unity between our leadership team

- -Good communication with our contacts

- -Unity among our 15 girls

- -Freedom from the burdens of our pasts, and complete joy when looking into our future

- -Supernatural love and strength to be daily serving in this community

- -Protection over our time with the Father

- -A direction toward the heart of the Father above the needs of the people

- -Finally, for FREEDOM. The Lord keeps speaking that word to our leadership team and we desire true freedom for our girls; the freedom to be the women God has called them to be and know that we will provide love and encouragement in our community.

Thank you so much for supporting me through prayer and I will try to update my blog every couple of weeks!

What's Next - I think I'll go to Africa

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I have been home for almost 3 months now since finishing the race and so much has happened in my life. Before returning home, I knew the Lord was telling me that I would have a couple months to debrief/process/adapt back into life in the states, and that a door would be opened for my next step in August. My heart for my future is in mobilization and education. I desire to tell people about the world and how God is working in it, as well as encourage them to go and see for themselves. So, since I've been home I've been emailing a bunch of different organizations and volunteering when opportunities have come up. I've worked with a homeless ministry in LA, volunteered for an amazing organization called Discover the Journey (discoverthejourney.org), and gone to work with my sister at a community center for adults with disabilities. The Lord has continued to put people in my life who are passionate about sharing His love with the world and serving those around them.

Also during these few months, I've continually heard the question from people: "Whats next?". Its a totally appropriate question and definitely to be expected, but my only answer has been "I dont know, but God is going to do something in August". I've definitely had my moments of wondering and asking God where my life is going, but for the most part I've had a peace with His answer of "wait".

The wonderful thing about God is that He is reliable. He said to wait until August, and He answered. On August 3rd, I received a call from Adventures in Mission (AIM) regarding their "real life" trips (http://www.adventures.org/a/trips/trips.asp?locationID=101) . They asked me if I would co-lead a trip to somewhere in Africa for 3 months, leaving September 3rd. There were a ton of thoughts buzzing through my head : "I have to leave in a month?, Can I leave my family and friends again this soon?, What about the things I've been doing these past months I feel a calling to?". But, no matter what questions or concerns came into my mind, there was an overwhelming sense of peace and excitement that seemed to quiet everything else. The moment I heard it would be somewhere in Africa I knew I could do it. My heart for Africa has grown so much in the past 5 years, and I know it is a place I will always be called to in some way.

Even though I immediately felt confident about this opportunity, I guess I felt I was "too confident", and needed more affirmation from God. Well, I love that God still speaks through our unbelief. God was speaking to me that entire day. Every interaction, every phone conversation, and every event that day confirmed this trip as the next door for me to walk through. Even that night I went to a Bible study at a good friends house through his church that he's been asking me to go to for months. I show up, surrounded by strangers, and was immediately embraced in a community of love that was so comparable to "worldrace" life. They were people who desired community, desired to love, and desired to accept love from God. And, to top it off, their church was currently on a trip to Swaziland with AIM which led us to spend part of the night in prayer for them. I remember driving home that night with the biggest smile on my face. The way God communicates in such obvious ways continues to amaze me.

So, after 12 hours of continual confirmation, I have decided to co-lead a Real Life trip through AIM, going to Swaziland for 3 months. I leave September 3rd to go to the AIM offices in Gainnesville, GA for leadership training, and then it is back to Africa. I am overjoyed by this opportunity and know it is exactly where the Lord wants me to be.

Real Life trips are for 18-22 year olds. My team will be lead by me and 2 others and have 17 participants. We will be going to Swaziland, working at AIM's 'care points', as well as spending time sharing Christ's love with adults in their final stages of AIDS. Care points are centers AIM has set up throughout Swazi to provide food and education to kids in the community. I have only spent a few weeks in Swazi and am extremely excited to go back.

If you would like to support me while I am gone, my biggest need throughout these months is going to be prayer. I will be posting a list of prayer requests for the trip soon, but in the mean time if you could be praying that these next few weeks of preparing to leave would be spent in quality time with my family and friends and a continued confidence in following where God is leading me. If you would like to support me financially (since I do need to raise around $1500), you can click on "Support Me" located on the left sidebar next to the blog. There is no way I would be able to do any of this without the support of my family and friends and I thank all of you with how you had encouraged me and hedged me in prayer. It means so much to me and I thank the Lord that I have such a good support behind me.

Discover the Journey

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 00:00:00 GMT

There is a saying in eastern Congo: "qui veut la paix prepare la guerre" (who wants peace prepares for war). This mantra represents the thinking that has fueled the violence that has enslaved children to fight in a war they should never be fighting in.

Our Congolese friend Francois proclaims instead: "qui veut la mort prepare la guerre mais qui veut la paix offre le pardon" (who wants death prepares for war, but who wants peace offers forgiveness).

Former child soldiers, our friends, will be given these shirts to wear as message bearers to their communities. Peace is the message. They will be the messengers.

Peace equals paix in french. You buy two paix shirts. One becomes your message. One becomes theirs. Each shirt has one side of a full set of wings.

Your wing points right. Their wing points left. The completed winged dove represents both the peace that can come and the Bearer of that peace. Children should never be soldiers. Let peace take flight.

[ALL proceeds from the sale of these shirts will fuel Discover The Journey's quest to tell the story of child soldiers in the Congo.]

To all who bought the PAIX Shirt, thank you! Discover The Journey will arrive in the Congo July 15 to distribute the first round of 200 PAIX shirts to children of war.

Learn more about our journey

Follow DTJ as we journey via twitter and facebook

The Ends Not Near, It's Here

Wed, 13 May 2009 00:00:00 GMT

One week ago the World Race ended; my 11 month journey around the world came to a close
One week ago I said goodbye to 31 amazing people that became my family, experiencing the good and bad together
One week ago I left a community of people committed to loving the Lord, and each other; people who encouraged me in more ways than they will ever know.
One week ago I finished one of the most amazing experiences in my life, an experience that has left me forever changed
And One week ago I was reminded that the God I continued to learn about, grow in, and receive love and grace from in Mexico, Guatemala, Nicaragua, Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand, South Africa, Mozambique, Swaziland, Malawi, Romania, Moldova, and Ukraine is the same God I get to encounter every day back home in the U.S.

Ending the race is not a sad time. Sure, I am going to miss my squad very much, and I absolutely cherish everything this year has taught me. But, I feel incredibly blessed that now I get to bring everything from this year back home. The lessons I learned from living in community I get to bring into my relationships with my family and friends. I get to love and encourage them, as well as receive their love and encouragement for me. My heart gets to break for the lost people in my own community the same way my heart broke for the lost people in South East Asia. I get to bring God's light and truth with every step I take, just like we did in Mozambique and Ukraine. This year was not about serving those around the world for 11 months, but about understanding that it is because of the grace of God that we get to love and serve Him by loving and serving those around us EVERY day and EVERYwhere.

There are so many things I have loved about this year, and beginning to process it all is a bit overwhelming. A lot times over this past week at home the WR has felt like a dream. The things we were able to do and experience seem almost unreal. But, the fact is that they were real and they did happen. With the thousands of stories, and innumerable ways of seeing the Lord work in our lives, the one lesson that I was continually taught each month was that none of this is possible without the grace of God. We are all fallen, we are all sinners, and it is because of Jesus Christ that we have been brought back to the Father and given the chance to live as children of the King. My prayer for myself as I move on with life is that I continue to discover (not create) my identity and believe in the truth that God loves me.

Titus 2:11-14

¹¹For the grace of Godhas appeared, bringing salvation for all people, ¹²training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, ¹³ waiting for our blessedhope, theappearing of the glory of our greatGod and Savior Jesus Christ, ¹⁴ who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works.

Yes, We're Going to Need Both Shopping Carts

Sat, 18 Apr 2009 00:00:00 GMT

After my month of setting up minstries in Ukraine and Moldova with Ashley and Stephanie, we had a squad debrief in Romania for a few days, and then it was back on the train to Ukraine. We convinved team Pi (minus shanda and dre), the Pratts, and Zach to spend our last 6 weeks of the race in a village in Lugansk, Ukraine. We are living at a summer camp for orphans that currently has no kids and are doing ministry with 2 other teams from the October World Race squad. I was really excited about coming back up here and a lot of that was because of our contact, Shane. He is a pastor from Lousianna who has lived in this village with his family for the past 4 years. His heart for the people out here is incredible and he is such an encouragement to be around.

We knew coming back up here that our ministry would be more door-to-door and maybe some work with orphans. I was excited about the kids but really wasnt looking forward to the door-to-door. Being at this point of the race can cause a little burn-out, and I didnt want my final weeks of the race to be something I just 'got through'. When we were in Romania for debrief, Marissa and I were sharing how we both have huge hearts for service. We love doing things for other people and serving in similar ways. Since we knew we would be joined with another squad for ministry, we were really hoping we could spend the month serving them at the camp. Its amazing to me how God knows our hearts and opens up oppertunities for us to be used in the ways we feel strong. We got to the camp a day before the other teams and were able to get things organized and try to make their transition here as easy as possible. Along with Zach, we took over the kitchen and convinced everyone to let us take care of them by cooking the meals and doing all the shopping. I never thought I would enjoy grocery shopping, cooking, and dishes so much. We have been here for a couple weeks now and have quite the system going. Everytime Marissa and I go to town to the market we comment on how it continually gets more and more fun (especially going to the small grocery store and taking the only two shopping carts to completely overflow with all our food). Probably 90% of my time is spent at the camp (though I have snuck out to an orphange), but I absolutely love it. It has been amazing to do something so simple but that makes other peoples day a little easier.

During one of my first mornings up here I was reading through Romans and found a passage that was exactly what I wanted this month to look like:

Romans 12: 9-13

Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil. Host fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints, and seek to show hospitality.

I feel so blessed by being at this point of the race and still finding joy and excitement about where I am at. Sure, I am very excited about returning home, but being able to live in present obedience to the Lord brings a lot of excitement as well. There are only 5 more weeks left on the race and my prayer is that my heart continues to stay open to what the Lord is doing in this place, and in me.

Trekking through (the) Ukraine: Lugansk

Sat, 18 Apr 2009 00:00:00 GMT

This is a blog that my squad leader, Stephanie, wrote about our time "pioneering' in Ukraine last month. Lugansk is the village I am currently in with my team and will remain in for the last 6 weeks of the race:

Lugansk is a city on the very eastern edge of Ukraine on the Russian border. The forgotten land, so it appears. Russia still has it's claws in deep and the peoples' mindset is still spinning in the rut that communism entrenched them in. The younger generation is trying to break free, while the older generation is more than happy with the one-track mindset " the one where you don't have to think much for yourself because society will just take care of you.

Communism placed emphasis on society and downplayed the family structure. People were numbers. Personal identity didn't exist. Names were more just a formality " maybe that's why every other person you meet here has the same name?

Lugansk is thought to be the mail-order bride capital of the world. And the most corrupt city in Ukraine. The moffia rules here. It is believed that Lugansk has it's own hard-core moffia system that can rival that of Russia.

Many people still do not trust Americans. Love, grace and forgiveness are totally foreign concepts " just like the Americans delivering the message. Hard hearts that take years to thaw. Hearts that believe you have to earn your salvation and that you can lose it on your own accord also. Christianity is rated by what you don't do, rather than by what you do.

Alcoholism affects around 80% of the population. I heard a story that four 11-year-olds went into a restaurant, ordered two pitchers of beer with their pizza, and the waiter served them without batting an eye. And that's normal. For the villagers, beer for breakfast and vodka for lunch and dinner. Drugs and tobacco to sustain you through the harsh winter. (And food wrappers to insulate the windows!)

Bleak and grey is the forecast. Or so it appears...

Read Numbers 13 and 14. Moses sent out one leader from each tribe into Canaan to scout out the land. This is a similar role that team Pioneer (6 other racers and me) has right now. Go ahead of the troops and report back what you find.

Yes, we could take all this disheartening observation and data back to the troops and discourage them from stepping foot on this soil. We could focus on the giants and impossibilities. Or, as Caleb and Joshua challenged a few verses later, we could choose to step out in faith believing that God is with us. Proclaiming the Kingdom and claiming the Promise Land.

We, as his chosen people, are armed with his covenant authority. Yes, things may look bleak " in claiming the Promise Land or reaching people in Ukraine " but, God has claimed the people as His own and is sending us there in His authority.

Instead of focusing on the worldly realities that plague not only Lugansk, but Ukraine as a whole, we can focus on spiritual truth.

God is who He says He is.

He will do what He says He will do.

I am who He says I am.

And I (the church) can do the impossible through Him who gives me (us) power.

God is choosing to usher in His Kingdom through the racers.

God is establishing His church in Lugansk.

Old women will be cured of the bottle.

Old men will be healed of the cough.

Young girls will discover their self-worth

and young boys will stand up for truth and justice.

Even if God is only calling a few out of their turtle shells, it's still worth it.

I choose to be Caleb and I hope you are choosing to be Joshua.

If we didn't think one' person was worth the hassle, then we would just be solidifying what they already believe about themselves. They are just a number and one is not worth the effort. But the one' is worth the effort and we believe that God is doing mighty things throughout the land right now.

Please Pray!

Fighting to Feel

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 00:00:00 GMT

For the past few weeks team Pi, and our fearless squad leader Stephanie, have been in Eastern Europe setting up ministry contacts for the rest of the squad for April and May. Dre and Shanda went to Hungary, Dan and Josh were in Romania, and Stephanie, Ashley, and I spent our time in Ukraine and Moldova. It was a whirlwind couple of weeks but absolutely amazing. We met with a lot of incredible missionaries who were so hospitable to us and made us feel like family. I am so encouraged by the work the Lord is doing through all of them. In Ukraine we traveled to Kyiv, Lugansk, and Odessa; while in Moldova we went to 4 different towns spanning a majority of the country. As crazy as these weeks have been, I have had a good amount of time to reflect on a lot about this year.

While we were in Odessa for a few nights the girl we were staying with asked us how we were able to move around so much, experience so many cultures, see so much need, and still be emotionally stable. Her questions really got me thinking. Going from Central America to South East Asia to Africa to Eastern Europe (and lets not forget the random month in England), we have seen and experienced an overwhelming amount of things. But, for some reason, all the moving around and constant change of culture and need has become incredibly normal. It doesn't feel strange to one day be in the heat of Malawi and the next be watching snow flurries in Ukraine. Visiting orphanages, hearing amazing stories of faith through persecution, and being constantly on a bus, train, or plane is now my life.

The hard part about this life though, IS all the change. Though it seems normal to be constantly moving, the places we move to and from are so incredibly different. There is nothing in my current surroundings that reminds me of any other experience on the race. Sure, we are visiting orphans in Eastern Europe, but their lives and struggles are drastically different than the orphans in Africa, and those in Cambodia. It is easy to forget to look back when the current view offers no reminders of where you've been. It's like I have to 'fight to feel'. I have to put in a real effort to think about where I've been and what I've seen. Its not because I have forgotten or dont care, but it is kind of a 'self-preservation'. My mind is trying to control my emotions. I guess this is how I am still stable.

But, I dont want to give in that easily. It seems rational to say "I will stay 'present' and when I return home is when I can truly think about everything". To me, that is a cop-out. I want to remember. I want to be in prayer for the churches in Nicaragua, MY children in Cambodia, the ladyboys in Thailand, the orphans of swazi, and all the others needs around this world that have touched my heart so deeply. There can be strength in brokenness, but it is a strength that is purely from the Lord. If I try to care, try to love, try to act on my own, I will fail. But, by caring with the hands of Jesus, loving with the heart of the Father, and acting through the Holy Spirit, I can remember where I've been and not be afraid to give my heart to all these different areas.

"Flyin Somewhere...?"

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 00:00:00 GMT

These past few weeks have offered some interesting experiences through our many modes of transportation. It amazes me how we continually find ourselves in ridiculous situations, and always come out safely on the other side. All I can say is "thank You, Jesus".

1. Our first experience on an Eastern European train provided for an interesting evening. We had an overnight train from Kyiv to Lugansk and was staying in a four person sleeper car. It is like a little room with 2 sets of bunks. We were asked if we wanted to buy all four beds, but decided to not waste the money and only purchased the three for us girls. Looking back, we should have bought all four. Our fourth occupant was this older Ukrainian man who started out nice enough. We were exhausted when we got on the train and were all pretty much keeping to ourselves. Everything was fine until later that night after he had a few drinks with the guys down the hall. There were a few small instances of red flags along the way but the real kicker was when it was time for bed. Ash and Steph were on the top bunks and me an Ukrainian man had the bottom. There was about a foot of space between our beds and he got up a lot. At one point though he thought I apparently wasnt properly tucked in and he got up and 're-tucked' my sheet around me. I shot up and immediately was like 'Niet, Niet' ('No, No'). Lets just say I didnt sleep much the rest of the night for fear that he would try that maneuver again. For future reference - is is NEVER ok to re-tuck people in on a train when you dont know them (and maybe if you do know them).

2. From Ukraine to Moldova we decided to take a bus because the ride wasnt going to be too long. Getting on the bus was really easy and the driver seemed really nice. He helped us with our bags and even gave us the seats in the back for the best leg room (since I am so tall). About halfway through the ride ash and I were fast asleep while Steph was just relaxing. Steph noticed the driver looking in the rear view mirror but didnt know what he seemed so concerned with. All of the sudden he stopped the entire bus, got out, walked onto the main part, and came straight back toward us. Ash and I opened are eyes to have this man standing before us yelling in Russian. Steph quickly figured out he was angry that we are our feet up on the extra seats in our attempts to have more comfortable sleep. After we put our feet down he walked back off the bus and got in the drivers side and continued on to Moldova. Once we had arrived he continued to give us the 'stink eye' and when we went to grab our back from the trunk he stood by and watched then proceeded to walk away when we needed help. While Steph and I walked around the bus station looking for our contact we kept running into him and decided to avoid eye contact at all costs.

3. Our last stop in Moldova had us staying in the city of Balti. All the places we had to visit though were around 2 hours away. Our driver (and missionary contact), Andre, provided us with quite the terrifying ride in his car. First off, he was very particular about his car, especially the doors. He kept getting mad at Steph and Ash for shutting the doors to hard and at one point no longer allowed Ashley to shut her own door. With such care for his car doors we were shocked by how he treated the rest of his car. He would plow down these roads full of potholes at 50 miles an hour then would slam on the brakes and swerve like crazy to get around the holes. He seriously should have flipped the car 56 times. The worst though was when he would avoid the already tire marked paths on the muddy roads to go around cars he thought were too slow and we would feel the rocks below scraping the bottom of the car. On our last day with Andre we accidently drove an hour in the wrong direction and ended up being in the car for 5 hours that day...im glad we survived.

This was just to give you a small glimpse of the Eastern European excursions we have experienced...and dont worry...I'm sure there will be plenty more (which we will ALWAYS survive).

Celebrate Us!

Sat, 14 Mar 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Celebrate Pi Day!

Pi, Greek letter (), is the symbol for the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter. Pi = 3.1415926535... Pi Day is celebrated by math enthusiasts around the world on March 14th.

Pi is also the beloved name of the greatest team of all time. Josh, Dan, Dre, Shanda, Ashley, and Pamela are the wonderful pieces that make up team Pi. We were going to have a competition to see who could memorize Pi to the 147,231 decimal, but instead, wrote a rap to the theme song of "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air":

"Team Pi of Azungu Air"

Now, this is a story all about how
Our lives got flipped-turned upside down
And we'd liked to take a minute
Just sit right there

We'll tell you how we became the pieces of a team with a whole lotta flare

Four continents later scoutin and eatin' maize
On the tuk-tuks was where we spent most of our days
Straight Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool (literally now in eastern europe)
And all eating some peppers actin' like a fool (Dan)
When the black magic man
Who was up to no good
Startin making trouble in our neighborhood
He got in one little fight and Rocco got scared
and Josh said, "we're on a one-way ticket flyin Qatar air"

Shanda whistled for a bike taxi and when it came near

The wood plate said and it had a Rasta to steer (named coconut)

If anything Dre would say this bike caused fear
But she thought 'Now forget it' - 'We are team Pi-oneer'

Pamela pulled up to the tent about 7 or 8
And she yelled to ashley 'Yo, the diesel smell's Dan's fate'
With the keys to unlock God's kingdom
was finally there

To sit on our throne, and 'choose in' and start to share.

Team Pi, thanks for an awesome journey! We LOVE you!!

love,

Ashley and Pamela

Oh Taste and See that the Lord is Good

Fri, 6 Mar 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I spent the past month in Malawi. It was a great month of solid time with the Lord and ministry. We did door-to-door evangelism, discipleship training for the local missionaries we were working with, and showings of the Jesus film. I also formed a bond with the neighborhood kids around the house we would have dinners at and spent a lot of time outside singing and dancing and learning new games. One of my favorite parts of the month though was taking advantage of all the down time we had.

We had most mornings to ourselves, and without electricity (meaning no charging my ipod) I had to resort to other forms of passing the time. One of the best things that happened was when Dre and I decided to put our time to good use. We had been talking for months about our desire to memorize more scripture and keep each other accountable (which we obviously weren't good at since we hadnt started). We really wanted to make it a priority though so we picked a chapter from Psalms and made a strategic plan in dividing up the verses so we could have the entire thing memorized before leaving Malawi. I've often set similar goals like this and failed to follow through. I would start of strong and slowly dwindle. But, this time was going to be different. Every morning I would work on my verses and throughout the day (mainly during our LONG walks) would be repeating them in my head. By the end of our time in Malawi I had the entire chapter of Psalm 34 memorized. Its crazy what a difference this made in my month. Having scripture constantly floating in your mind makes a huge difference throughout your day.

Having the mornings off to ourselves was amazing. As a team we used the time to pray over each other and our ministries. Individually I took advantage of not only spending time memorizing, but also spending time with the Lord. Whether that time was reading or just sitting in silence listening to Him, it was time I find myself currently missing. I will always have good memories of those mornings in Malawi and will hopefully be recreating that time as much as possible.

Psalm 34

¹I will bless the LORD at all times;

   his praise shall continually be in my mouth.
²My soul makes its boast in the LORD;
   let the humble hear and be glad.
³Oh, magnify the LORD with me,
   and let us exalt his name together!

⁴ I sought the LORD, and he answered me
   and delivered me from all my fears.
⁵Those who look to him are radiant,
   and their faces shall never be ashamed.
⁶ This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him
   and saved him out of all his troubles.
⁷ The angel of the LORD encamps
   around those who fear him, and delivers them.

⁸Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good!
    Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!
⁹Oh, fear the LORD, you his saints,
   for those who fear him have no lack!
¹⁰ The young lions suffer want and hunger;
   but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.

¹¹ Come, O children, listen to me;
    I will teach you the fear of the LORD.
¹² What man is there who desires life
   and loves many days, that he may see good?
¹³ Keep your tongue from evil
   and your lips from speaking deceit.
¹⁴ Turn away from evil and do good;
   seek peace and pursue it.

¹⁵ The eyes of the LORD are toward the righteous
    and his ears toward their cry.
¹⁶ The face of the LORD is against those who do evil,
   to cut off the memory of them from the earth.
¹⁷ When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears
   and delivers them out of all their troubles.
¹⁸The LORD is near to the brokenhearted
   and saves the crushed in spirit.

¹⁹ Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
    but the LORD delivers him out of them all.
²⁰He keeps all his bones;
    not one of them is broken.
²¹Affliction will slay the wicked,
   and those who hate the righteous will be condemned.
²²The LORD redeems the life of his servants;
   none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned.

Emily Post Never Wrote a Chapter on This

Tue, 3 Mar 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Who is Emily Post:

Emily Post wrote a book on Etiquette in 1922 to try to bring common sense and flexibility to good manners. She published ten editions of her book and for many years also wrote a syndicated newspaper column and for a time also hosted a radio program. Emily Post's name has become synonymous, at least in North America, with proper etiquette and manners. Nearly half a century after her death, her name is still used in titles of etiquette books.

Emily Says:

Do not attract attention to yourself in public. This is one of the fundamental rules of good breeding. Shun conspicuous manners, conspicuous clothes, a loud voice, staring at people, knocking into them, talking across anyone-in a word do not attract attention to yourself. Do not expose your private affairs, feelings or innermost thoughts in public. You are knocking down the walls of your house when you do.

World Race Does:

In Africa it is completely acceptable (and necessary) to squat on the side of the road to use the bathroom.

-During our ridiculous amount of travel to and from Malawi, the use of an actual bathroom facility was pretty much non-existent, and so, we were left to having to go in the bushes on the side of the road. On the ride up I was extremely uncomfortable with this but quickly learned that when you have no other option, your body doesn't care. It was on the ride back though that I realized I didn't know proper roadside etiquette. We were on a bus traveling with other Africans and at our first roadside stop, Tara, Ashley, and I apparently went to the "mens area", and when we were about to venture out from behind the trees to the van dan yelled out the warning "dont come out, there are wieners". Once the coast was clear and we headed back to the bus we realized that all the other women had gone to a different area...woops. Another instance in which I felt unprepared in manners was later that night when all the women went to squat behind the bus. As I was already really uncomfortable enough, this African woman from our bus decides to squat a foot away from me, facing me, and strike up a conversation. I had NO idea how to react and quickly finished my business and got up. These moments provided a lot of laughs and definitely new experiences, but I will be excited if I never have to do the roadside pit stop ever again.

Emily Says:

The "dishing" is quite as important as the cooking; a smear or thumb-mark on the edge of a dish is like a spot on the front of a dress!

World Race Does:

Allows utensils and dishes to be used multiple times and by multiple people before a 'wash'.

- During travel days a staple food item we have is peanut butter. When we have 3 days of travel on one bus, we make the sandwiches as we go. Because our spoon for peanut butter needs to be used many times by many people while on a bus, the only proper way to wash it is for the last person to lick it clean and put it back in the bag for the next user. I know this sounds disgusting, but this is the way of a world racer. As for other dishes. During our meals in Malawi we would sometimes not have enough plates, but mostly it was our lack of cups for tea. So, once one person was finished, they would pass off the plate or cup without washing.

Emily Says:

CLOTHES are to us what fur and feathers are to beasts and birds; they not only add to our appearance, but they are our appearance. How we look to others entirely depends upon what we wear and how we wear it; manners and speech are noted afterward, and character last of all.

World Race Does:

Wears the same outfit for a minimum of 3 days in a row.

- With limited space for packing and having to do laundry by hand, we want to get the most out of our clothes. In my pack for Africa I had 5 t-shirts, 3 skirts, 2 pairs of shorts. I did laundry last month 1 and a half times...please dont do that math.

Emily Says:

Bread should always be broken into small pieces with the fingers before being eaten. If it is to be buttered (at lunch, breakfast or supper, but not at dinner) a piece is held on the edge of the bread and butter plate, or the place plate, and enough butter spread on it for a mouthful or two at a time, with a small silver "butter knife." Bread must never be held flat on the palm of the hand and buttered in the air. If the regular steel knife is used, care must be taken not to smear food from the knife's side on the butter. Any food that is smeared about is loathsome. People who have beautiful table manners always keep their places at table neat. People with disgusting manners get everything in a horrible mess.

World Race Does:

Eats a ridiculous amount of bread in humongous portions because there is apparently no other food in Malawi.

- For breakfast and lunch almost every day we would eat copious amounts of bread. There was a bakery close to our house that fueled our supply. When buttering (usually with peanut butter) our bread I'm pretty sure we always steered clear of plates (who wants to wash those) and thus, buttered in the air. Also, on special occasions, we would get the bread that had this vanilla cream in the middle, but more often than not it also came with a handful of ants. The ants got mixed reviews: "I dont care, I'm just gonna eat you" (Dre) or "Hey, its protein" (Ashley); and notice that not-eating the bread was not an option.

Emily Says and World Race Does:

One might say the perfect traveler is one whose digestion is perfect, whose disposition is cheerful, who can be enthusiastic under the most discouraging circumstances, to whom discomfort is of no moment, and who possesses at least a sense of the ridiculous, if not a real sense of humor! The perfect traveler furthermore, is one who possesses the virtue of punctuality; one who has not forgotten something at the last minute, and whose bags are all packed and down at the hour for the start. Those who fuss and flurry about being ready, or those whose disposition is easily upset or who are inclined to be gloomy, should not travel-unless they go alone.

I am sure some of you reading this are a little (if not a lot) disgusted by our actions. I dont mean to be gross, but sometimes in the world race life etiquette is just not an option. Mom and G-ma...I am sorry. I promise when I return I will be back to Emily's standard.

I Just Wanna Play All Day

Wed, 4 Feb 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Two things I absolutely love - children and Africa. This is my 5th time to this continent and every time I return I fall in love a little more. Mozambique was a wonderful experience, but it was different than the Africa I am used to. This past week though, I felt like I came home. We spent a week in Swaziland working at a 'care point' set up by AIM. The care point is a place in the community where kids can come and play and be together and receive some type of meal for the day (usually this mixture of cornflour and water) as well as care from the loving gogos (grandmothers). I knew instantly that this would be a place I would love. I tried to spend as much time as I possibly could with the kids. I learned every hand-clapping game with their corresponding lyrics, I played 'dinner' with rocks and a torn plastic bag, I pushed kids on the swings and cheered as they rode down the slide, and I even played in a mini game of netball. Between all these activities I was able to just hold the kids, dance with them in my arms, and show them that they are loved.

Me and one of my favorite little boys...I named him 'Trouble', because thats exactly what he was. But, I LOVE him.

My girl Bongewe - absolutely adorable. Every day when I arrived at the care point she would climb into my arms. We would laugh and smile and dance while singing 'I said a boom-chika-boom'.

Swaziland is an intense country. It is green and beautiful, but because of its small geographical size, the spread of AIDS has threatened its survival. We would go out into the community to take a 'census' of who these people are and what kind of needs they had. Every story was all to familiar- A family with a grandmother and 8 grandkids who have lost their parents; the inability to attain or pay for proper medication; everyone sitting around because there are no jobs to be found; an overwhelming cry of hunger because everyone is under governmental food distributions that come once every 3 months; a lack of clean water. The needs go on and on and on, and the situation at times felt overwhelmingly hopeless. But, small strides are being made. The presense of the carepoints and the hearts of the people who run them are slowly changing this community. There is still a huge need, but the Lord is working through His diligent followers.

Our last day at the carepoint we did a shoe distribution where we had around 500 kids from 8 different carepoints come and receive shoes that had been donated. We set up chairs around this wooden platform and had the kids sit in the chairs to get their feet washed, be prayed over, and receive a new pair of shoes. It was so beautiful to meet some sort of physical need. My job during the time was to pass out shoes to the people washing feet and praying. It was crazy and chaotic and sometimes overwhelming when we would run out of sizes, but it was incredible. Hundreds of children were able to experience the love of Jesus in a beautiful way.

Even though my time in Swazi was short, it was a huge blessing from the Lord to be able to be there. I loved every minute of being with those kids and will miss them as we travel on.

Support Brian and Stacy!

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Support Brian and Stacy here!

When the Holy Spirit Barks - And Other New Things

Fri, 23 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT

After my amazing five days in Southern California, it took two plane flights, 8 hours on a bus, 1 taxi ride, a 15 passenger van ride with 23 passengers, and a 7km drive down a bumpy dirt road to find myself back in world race life. Adapting back was easy, since the previous week felt like a dream, and I was excited to start working in a community my squad-mates had already been working with. After setting my tent up in the dark and being served food by a contact I had yet to meet, I was back into the swing of things.

Ministry in Mozambique covered a large part of the community we were in. We were all divided into groups of 2-3 and split among 6 churches. I worked with Josh and Tara Bruce at an amazing church where we led Bible training in the afternoons to members of the church. The second night I was there we held a "revival" and invited all of the churches. Hundreds of people showed up and it was a night of worship and prayer under a magnificent star-studded sky.

At the end of the night we had people come to the front who were seeking prayer. Our first group of people came up for prayer for physical healing. We were all supposed to go up to the individuals in front of us and pray. I instantly approached this elderly man in the front row. He held out his hands and closed his eyes and I put my hands in his and started praying. Language held its barrier but the Holy Spirit broke through. Within 30 seconds of me praying the man before me jolted and let out a "yelp", very similar to a bark. I have never experienced anything like this while praying over someone and was completely caught off guard. At first I just looked up not knowing what this meant, but for some reason, I knew not to fear it. Even though I wasn't fearful, I needed more support, so I grabbed Natalie's hand as she was praying for the woman next to me and stuck it on my guys shoulder. I continued to pray and every minute or so he continued to jolt up a bit and bark. Then out of nowhere Brian jumped in and started praying directly into this mans ear. I continued to hold his hands and pray for healing, believing in the manifestations of the Holy Spirit. When we finished praying the man looked up at me with tears in his eyes and with no words being exchanged it was obvious he had been healed. Though I knew what was happening before me was true, I had never experienced the working of the Holy Spirit in this way. It was so encouraging to me to see how God allowed me to be used by the Spirit, but also brought Natalie and Brian around me to confirm truth and support through prayer.

Throughout the next five days the Lord began speaking to me more "clearly" than usual. He would put passages on my heart to share at our church that were not only applicable in ways I didn't imagine, but that also had been on the minds of others in the church. Even in my personal devotion He would provide me with things that would come up over and over in the most random situations. Our last day at our church was another amazing day of feeling the Spirit. Tara, Josh, and I decided to pray over the individuals of our church before we left. Josh prayed for the men and Tara and I split up the women. Our translator didn't translate our prayers and we didn't know of any specific requests, so it was completely trusting the Holy Spirit to move. It was crazy when I would put my hands into those of the women, things would just come to me. For no logical reason I was praying for joy in some, and for boldness of voice in others. As I was moving down the straw mat of women I sat in front of this one woman and immediately felt a weight on my chest. My arms were heavy and it was almost hard to get words out. It was purely feeling a huge burden that this woman was carrying. Feeling the physical of someone else's burdens was another new encounter for me but I held firm and trusted the Spirit. When I returned to my chair Tara instantly turned to me and asked me if I felt anything strange. When I told her about the heaviness she instantly confirmed similar feelings while praying too. Even though I wasn't doubting what I felt, it was comforting to me to know it wasn't just me.

This past week has been full of new and incredible experiences. I feel so blessed to have seen the Spirit work in these ways and have had my own perception of how God works expanded immensely. I love how God has provided me with a community of people who have been able to encourage and affirm me in these new truths and I am overjoyed by what I have been able to be a part of in these past 10 days.

Sweet Home California

Mon, 12 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT

On January 6th when my squad flew off to Africa I stayed in London one more night and headed back to southern California on the 7th. My cousin Kyle got married this week and my Auntie Anne and I surprised my entire family by flying me home for the wedding. It was the hardest thing to keep secret for so long, but being able to show up unexpectedly was incredible. I got to surprise people numerous times, all of which ended in excessive hugs. Being able to shock everyone was amazing, being able to be back in California was beautiful, but being able to be a part of this life changing event in my cousins life was the biggest blessing I could have ever imagined.

Besides being able to attend the wedding and be with my family, one of the best things I received this week was some insight into re-entry. I am not going to claim that I know how things will be in May, but I will say that I am optimistic about the transition. Being home I was able to further affirm the fact that I know when I leave my WR family I will continue to be a part of a community that loves me, loves the Lord, and loves the world. Between my family and my friends I have been so encouraged these past 5 days to not only continue in the direction I feel the Lord is taking me, but also to know that I will always be supported in whatever I do.

Now since my knowledge of video editing is, well, none....I will have to postpone posting the surprising everyone videos...but here are some pictures from the wedding:

My twin sister and I Before the rehearsal lunch

My parents with the newlyweds...Kaitlyn and Kyle

My Family

My sister Melissa and cousin Kristen in the reception photobooth

My Dad and I

It was a wonderful and extremely fast 5 days back home and I cannot thank my Auntie Anne and Uncle Bob enough for making this happen. I feel so incredibly blessed by my family and cannot express how much it means to me to have been a part of this. Now it is back to Africa tomorrow and I am excited to return to my squad.

Returning to Pieces of My Heart

Sun, 4 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT

In less than 48 hours my squad will be on a plane to Africa. It seems almost unreal to me. I have been looking forward to this part of the trip since I found out our race route. It seriously saddened me when we got detoured to London, and though it took a while for me to see it, it has been a huge blessing to be able to spend the month here. But now we are back on track and though the reality wont set in until we land, I am incredibly excited.

I have been to Africa four times and there is definitely a giant chunk of my heart waiting for me. I've spent time in Namibia, Uganda, and Kenya and every time I return my heart becomes more and more invested into this continent. There are so many things I love about Africa and so much I cannot wait to return to. It is the place in which I first became truly broken for the world and a place I will always be longing to return to.

Here are a few pictures of past experiences and the things I love:

The Beautiful Landscape

I lived in this village in southern Uganda with one of my best friends, another volunteer, and 3 orphan girls and learned so much about the simplicity of life. The only furniture in our house was a straw mat and we cooked over a charcoal stove and usually did not have electricity. The nights spent outside on our porch under the moonlight were the most beautiful evenings I could imagine.

My Students

I worked at a primary school for AIDS orphans and kids who couldnt afford regular school. It was heartbreaking seeing the daily struggles of sickness and abandonment they cant escape but beautiful watching the glimpses of innocense that have yet to be taken.

Trouble Makers (aka my favorites)

...enough said

Being able to experience this with my family (and now with my WR family)

This is a picture of my dad and I in Uganda last summer and I have been incredibly blessed to have been to Namibia with my Dad and my Mom. It was their love for Africa that first brought me to it and I cant express how much it means to me that they did.

Ever since day one of the race I feel like God's been telling me to expect big things for Africa. I have prayed so much into these next few months and know the Lord is going to continue breaking my heart in ways I never thought possible. I'm trying to leave behind expectations and walk in knowing that this is a part of the world that I love and will continue to love. It is going to be an incredible few months (not unlike the past 6), and I know I am ready.

Thirsty for More

Tue, 30 Dec 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Today as a squad we had a day of silence. We were given questions to help us reflect on the past 6 months and encouraged to journal out not only who God is and who we are in Christ, but how those truths are reflected by what we do in this world.

1. Who God is:

Creator, King, Ruler, Father, Pursuer, Giver of Life, Almighty, Everlasting, True Love, Jealous, Perfect, All-knowing, Just, Redeemer, Beautiful, My All-in-All, Giver of Grace. He is who He says He is and He does what He says He can do. His words are true and His promises are great.

2. Who I am in Christ:

saved, a child of God, a daughter of the most high, redeemed, forgiven, heir to the kingdom, loved, pursued, desired, FREE

3. How this affects/changes my interactions with the world:

I have a sense of urgency for the world. What am I waiting for? Injustice and darkness have encompassed so much, and yet I know truth and light. Why would I wait to share that? Why would I put it off? I want my interactions with the world to be more intentional, more bold. My fear is only of the Lord, and I desire to be obedient. Our world is broken and lost. The world is bigger than I thought and at the same time much smaller. Whether its a tourist in central London or an AIDS orphan in Cambodia-- they all need to know they have a Father and are valued and loved. My desire is to interact with the world by the love of Christ. Being Jesus. Opening my eyes to the broken and lost, and having this overwhelming burden to show them the Kingdom of Christ.

As I have said in previous blogs, God has been showing me over and over again how much I have changed. I have been blessed through incredible ways and seen the provision of my Father and His intentionality behind it. But I have failed to see that He still desires to show me more. Today was a day for me to praise God in all that He has done over the past 6 months, but also to look into the next 5 months and know that He is going to be just as intentional, just as incredible, and provide even more than I could ever imagine.

This is a prayer from A.W. Tozer's Pursuit of God that I have meditated on over the past few days and feel most accurately puts into words what I feel:

"O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need for further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me thy glory, I pray Thee, that so I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, "Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away." Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long. In Jesus' name. Amen."

Standing on the Corner for Jesus

Wed, 24 Dec 2008 00:00:00 GMT

For the past 10 days we have been working with local churches reaching out to ethnic minorities. A main portion of our ministry has consisted of "tracting". Now, if you dont know what I mean by that, think of those people standing on the side of the street passing out little leaflets of paper consisting of religious literature...you know, the ones you usually dont make eye contact with or you cross the street to avoid. Dont worry, that used to be my reaction too. So, when I found out this would be our main ministry, lets just say I was less than thrilled. But, God has been showing me a lot this month about what it means to truly "die to myself" and live for Him; and He wasnt going to let me learn it the easy way.

On our first morning of tracting I spent a lot of minutes in my quiet time arguing with God. I didnt understand how this method of reaching out to people actually worked, and even if it did I didnt want it to be my method. But, during that fist morning alone with God over and over again I felt Him asking me "who are you living for"? As I continued to ask this question to myself on our drive to ministry I finally realized in that moment, that my attitude had been so incredibly selfish. This is the ministry that God has called me to for the month of December, and even if I never tract again, I need to let go of my self and my opinions. God opened my eyes so much that first afternoon. I started to truly see people the way that He does. Every person that walked past me looked so lost. Sure they might have known what stores they were going to go to that day, or who they were meeting for lunch, but they had no idea that they are valued and loved by a heavenly Father who desires an eternal relationship with them. Even if they did avoid eye contact or walk on the other side of the sidewalk, I would always smile and tell them happy Christmas. The people who took the tracts had mixed reactions too. Some probably felt bad not taking it, others were just caught of guard and didnt know what was going on until they had this piece of paper in their hands and couldnt give it back, but every couple of people we got someone who was truly happy to have received what we were handing out (and when we were lucky, some people even came to us).

Though we spent a lot of time on the streets, conversations didnt come easy. But, God is good and the conversations I was fortunate enough to have were ones that I know He hand picked for me. I would be talking to someone and a question would come out that I would answer from a verse I had been thinking about days before, or I would have something randomly in common with the person in front of me. Though not all conversations flowed smoothly, I felt so loved by God when I was able to see how detailed and personal He was in directing what was being said.

I am not going to lie, the past 10 days were hard for me. I had moments of frustration and at times felt silly handing out tracts that I found to be somewhat cheesy. But, luckily my God can work through cheesy methods. My group alone handed out just under 4000 tracts this week. That means that almost 4000 people had the ability to read about the love of Christ. Im sure some got thrown away or forgotten about; but what about the ones that didnt? What about the people who actually read the tracts and thought about God, for even a second? The impact from those tracts is probably something I will never know, but I am going to believe that God works in all ways, and I am excited that I was able to help provide people with something that tells them about the God I love.

No Matter How I Change, I wont Drink Nescafe

Wed, 24 Dec 2008 00:00:00 GMT

I have been on the World Race now for almost 6 months. 6 MONTHS. I seriously cannot believe it. Though there have been moments where it seems as if it would never end, a majority of the time I cannot believe how fast this time in my life is flying by. I have become accustomed to an entirely new way of living, so here is a look at some of the things i have adapted to:

- Living out of a backpack, literally. I have everything I need with me in this tiny bag and know that whatever I buy I have to carry (which has significantly decreased my shopping....probably not a bad thing).

- Wearing my clothes mutiple days in a row because if I didnt it I would be doing laundry way to often

- Giving away clothes because I feel like I have too many (then seeing other people on the team wearing them)

- Eating whatever is put infront of me (which people who know me know that is a little hard for me sometimes...luckily though I have found ways to get out of eating beans everytime I have encountered them...which has been A LOT).

- Being constantly in travel mode

- Feeling at home in an airport

- Being excited over hot showers

- Sleeping on my sleeping mat and now finding it oddly comfortable

- Rarely drinking coffee because nescafe is the most disgusting drink ever made

- Never going anywhere without my nalgene

- Loving the flexibilty of time in other countries (now who would have thought I would enjoy not being scheduled?)

- CONSTANTLY being around people. With a new family of 31, being alone is extremely rare. For the past 6 months I have yet to sleep in a room by myself. Currently I am in a room with 9 girls. We pretty much cover the entire floor with our sleeping bags and use tables in the room as "dividers", making things seem a little more spacious. Though this morning I did wake up with Dre a little too close to my face (which, anyone would be lucky to have...shes sitting right next to me (again proving no privacy)).

- Thanking the Lord for technology, especially skype

The past 6 months has had its ups and downs. I have learned a lot, I have changed a lot, and I have experienced more than I ever thought possible. I absolutely LOVE being here and wouldnt change one thing. The Lord has blessed me more than I can ever know, and adapting to this new way in life has no comparison to the things God has shown me. It is a joy and a privaledge to be here and I cant wait to see what the next 5 months brings.